Friendship

I was reading a blog the other day. It was written by one of the homeschool moms in our group. She was trying to figure out the difference between friendship and acquaintanceship. It started me thinking about what the difference is myself. How many friends do I have, and how many acquaintances?

To me, a friend is someone you can call, day or night, and gripe about whatever is going on, and the other person doesn't hang up on you. A friend is someone you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to and not judge you. A friend is someone who is completely honest and devoid of an agenda pertaining to your relationship. For instance, someone who uses what you have or give, and has no appreciation is not a friend.

I have people I call friends. I have people I call acquaintances. Have you ever found yourself saying, "My friend said..."? Isn't it easier to say "my friend" than "some chick I know"? I have friends I haven't talked to in several years, yet I still refer to them as friends.

I had a friend that was very close to me, and now we don't speak. For awhile the relationship was an every day thing. Call each other every day, just to see what is going on, and end up on the phone for three hours. But when that friendship fell apart, it fell apart into many, many pieces. Now there is mistrust, anger, and hard feelings between two people who were once close. But I haven't done much to try to repair it. I have made overt gestures, but I haven't come right out and said, "Let's let bygone be bygones".

I recently tried to renew a friendship that had lain dormant for too long. My best friend growing up was someone that was like my other half. But through time and distance the relationship started suffering. I saw her when I went back home, but there wasn't a lot of effort put into it when the disatnce was back. But that's definitely my fault as well. I wrote her a letter recently and she called me. She and I e-mail each other now. It's definitely not regularly, but at least it's a start in the righ direction. And it's better than what we did have.

I had a feeling one night that I needed to contact her. I felt like God had led me to write her a letter. I felt like the time was right for a line to be opened again. And I felt better by doing it. I wasn't there for her when she needed me and I didn't allow her to be there when I could have used her. I didn't call very often and only sent Christmas cards. But I still think about her on her birthday. Yes, I know it's the end of July.

But I felt like I hadn't been the kind of friend that she deserved to have. I felt like I had abandoned her. She may not have felt that way, but I did. And I felt pretty crappy about it. I know better than to let a true friend go. I hope to keep in touch. I would love to have her in our lives.

My sister is also my best friend. We were not close for so very long. Growing up we were super tight. But as family sometimes does, we grew apart as we got older. We didn't become close again until I was 21. It was a beautiful relationship until I screwed it up. I got to the point that it was easier to judge her and her actions than take a close look at my own life. So I did the stupidest thing I could do and I alienated her. It took a family health crisis to get us talking again. And it shouldn't be that way. I still haven't apologized for what I did. I don't want to drag up hurt feelings and damage what we have now.

So, Stacy, if you read this. I am so sorry for the things I said and the things I did. I love you so very much and you are the best sister I could have. I thank God that you are in my life. Please forgive me and know that I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused you.

I miss her. We like to joke when we get off the phone about coming to dinner. We'll tell each other what we're having for dinner and decide which house we're going to eat at. Or she'll say what's on the menu at her house, and I tell her I'll bring what we have, and we can share. I wish that could really happen. But when you live 1200 miles away from each other, it's not a quick trip. Sometimes, it would be nice to just a sister hug.

Who do I call when I need support? Who do I call when I need to hear a voice? Who do I call when the kids are out of control and so am I? My husband, that's who. I am very lucky that I married my best friend. We started as friends, and realized that we had a lot in common. Then it just progressed. We were always together, then it became exclusive. Then I fell in love. I'm not sure when he did, but I'm glad he did. I cannot imagine a day of my life without him in it.

I know that he is my support. He holds me up, he sets me down, he rubs my shoulders, and hugs me. He knows what I need when I need it, and he does it. He finishes my sentences, and reads my thoughts. He knows me better than I know myself. He allows me to be wild, or shy. Outgoing or introverted. Boisterous or silent. But he allows me to be me. I don't have to hide. I don't have to cover up my feelings or my thoughts. He is always there for me. I know he is laways there for me. He is a true friend.

So who are your friends? Who are your acquaintances? Who are people that you would like to move from one category to another? True friends or sometimes friends? Give $20 to or loan $20 to? Things to ponder.

Have a great day!